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just between you and me - Deirdre's Novel of D00000m!

About just between you and me

Previous Entry just between you and me Nov. 23rd, 2004 @ 12:47 pm Next Entry
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Date:November 23rd, 2004 11:50 am (UTC)
My original idea is that he wants Severus the whole time and just doesn't know it, but he does know that what he's got isn't enough for him once the thrill of the newness wears off. And this is about the time that should be happening, but I haven't hinted at it as much as I should.

I can perceive that this is what you had in the back of your mind, but neither part was really foreshadowed strongly enough for the reader. Harry's been having a couple of dreams, yes. But there doesn't seem to be much going on in his conscious mind about Severus, and so (from the reader's POV) it really doesn't seem like he cares much about Snape.

And if Harry's not really that happy or fulfilled by Nick, again, that hasn't been communicated so clearly by you. It IS clear that they have conflicts re Nick's secrets and the income disparity. But couples can often have such conflicts and things are still very intense, romantically and sexually. So far, it seems like the Harry/Nick relationship would fall into that category---that there are some real strong problems there, but that they are also becoming more and more involved with each other.

And yet, I'm not sure you can build up the Nick/Harry relationship so much that it will really be wrenching for Harry to leave him. Nick just isn't THAT attractive a person, IMO. I can't see that he'd appeal to Harry all that much; it seems like most of the attraction is only sexual. Anyway, I'm sure you'll find a solution.

Rambling, again. . .
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